Scorecard for The Breed (2006)

Movie Poster for "The Breed"

Spoiler Alert!

If you haven’t yet watched
The Breed, please do so.

If you want to compete, the full
rules and preview are found HERE.

But, just as a refresher, here are our rules:

  • Rule # 1: Drink to new acquaintances whenever a named character is introduced.
  • Rule # 2: Any time a named cast member dies, drink to their memory.
  • Rule # 3: Drink for courage any time dogs enter the scene for the first time.
  • Rule # 4: Whenever you see a character drink on screen, you must do the same.

Please remember to drink responsibly.

Okay, so without further ado…

(0:01:03) That didn’t take long. Bikini chick sipping champagne. (Rule # 4)
(0:02:02) Was that a dog? Took quick to tell…
(0:02:09) He said “penal”. Huh huh huh huh.</Butthead>
(0:04:36) What was that?! Drink to furry, not blurry.
(0:05:06) I guess loverboy’s name is “Luke”, eh?
(0:05:26) Hello, Luke, nice to meat… er, meet ya. (Rule # 1)
(0:05:29) And obviously, lil’ Miss Champagne Supernova is “Jennie”. Too bad she’s become such a *drag*. (Rule # 1)
(0:05:50) Alas, poor Jen, we *bare*ly knew ye. (Rule # 2)
(0:06:34) “Noah has literally turned our dorm room into prime happy hour real estate.” (Rule # 1)
(0:06:58) No, “Maverick” doesn’t count.
(0:07:18) “Gosh, Matty, this place is incredible.” (Rule # 1)
(0:07:49) “Obviously, Johnny and our uncle never really got each other.” (Rule # 1) Strangely enough, it’s now our two female leads who are running around unnamed.
(0:09:35) “Margarita-Thirty!” How dare she not drink on camera!
(0:10:47) “Hey, man. Look. The keys are still in the car.” How fortuitous. Think that’s foreshadowing? Does a genetically engineered dog poop in the woods?
(0:12:25) So, by all horror movie rules, if she’s a virgin, she’ll live to the end. That’s assuming she’s telling the truth, and you know what happens when you assume…
(0:13:21) AHHHHH! Cheap shock! Drink if you jumped, ya sissy.
(0:13:45) By process of elimination, this must be Nicki. Go ahead and drink now that you know her name. (Rule # 1)

  • Mile Marker: Only 8 drinks, but be patient.
  • Dog Sightings: Zero.

Michelle Rodriguez and Eric Lively in "The Breed" (2006)

Michelle Rodriguez and Eric Lively in The Breed (2006)

(0:15:42) Nicki drinks, you drink. (Rule # 4)
(0:15:46) Matt drinks, you drink. (Rule # 4)
(0:15:58) And again. (Rule # 4)
(0:16:14) Yep, again. (Rule # 4)
(0:17:01) A little Margarita for Mattie. (Rule # 4)
(0:17:05) As yet unnamed blonde gets in on the action. (Rule # 4)
(0:17:38) More booze for Matt. (Rule # 4)
(0:18:19) After a number of nearlies, Noah finally takes a drink on camera. (Rule # 4)
(0:18:49) Our first dog sighting. The horror… The horror… (Rule # 3)
(0:20:31) “Here’s to being single, seeing double, sleeping triple, haha, and to multiple orgasms.” (Rule # 4)
(0:21:16) Be afraid, Noah. Very, very afraid.
(0:21:49) Oh, Noah. Chasing tequila with wine? Somebody wants to projectile vomit. Maybe you’ll join him. (Rule # 4)
(0:22:45) Some hero, John. He averts his eyes just as some dog pulls a Lou Thesz Press on the girl. (Rule # 3)
Oh, and drink another if you jumped, ya chicken.

  • Mile Marker: 20 drinks thus far, and a pair of dogs.

One of the Malicious Mutts from "The Breed" (2006)

One of the Malicious Mutts from The Breed (2006)

(0:23:43) Girl bitten by dog? It’s Miller Time! (Rule # 4)
(0:24:16) Finally. Almost a half hour in and a dog bite later, and we learn her name is Sara. Cheers, Sara. Here’s hoping you don’t get rabies. (Rule # 1)

Now that we’ve met everyone, we’ll be drinking as they drop. Feel free to wager on who’s first/last.

(0:25:10) Drink if the thunder scared you.
(0:27:57) It’s cold by the window, apparently.
(0:29:17) Yeah, coffee counts. (Rule # 4)
(0:29:28) Matt hits the java. (Rule # 4)
(0:29:34) Nicki drinks, you drink. (Rule # 4)
(0:33:42) Dog! Drink! Drink two if you jumped! (Rule # 3)
(0:34:24) It’s just John. Drink if you jumped.
(0:34:36) “No, no. Dogs, man. Dogs. Plural.”
(0:34:53) It’s just Luke. Remember him? Drink if you jumped.
(0:35:01) Okay, it’s all right if you jumped. (Rule # 3)
(0:35:26) Bye, Luke. Guess you were right. The dogs really *don’t* want you here. (Rule # 2)
(0:36:30) Gratuitous Matrix-cam is admittedly pretty cool.
(0:36:42) Hahahah! Arrow’d! That dog with the scars is totally gloating.
(0:37:07) I’ll let you off the hook since I think we’ve seen all of those dogs in this scene by now.
(0:37:08) Tequila makes the arrow pain and shame go away. (Rule # 4)
(0:39:14) Hill Harper’s no Samuel L. Jackson (Deep Blue Sea), but he does his best. And totally understandable if you jumped. (Rule # 3)
(0:40:11) Two dogs standing on the dock of the bay, wasting time. (Rule # 3)
(0:41:39) Yeah, those are the dogs from the dock. You’re safe.
(0:42:15) That’s a foul tip. Strike one.
(0:42:38) Shut the front door! Okay, now begins our Night of the Living Dead cabin siege, so a great time for a break.

  • Mile Marker: 31 drinks thus far, and a metric butt-ton of dogs.

A Pair of Pooches Prevent Escape in "The Breed" (2006)

A Pair of Pooches Prevent Escape in The Breed (2006)

Take a 15-min. breather, you’ve earned it.

(0:44:54) Three dogs. The dead one don’t count. (Rule # 3)
(0:52:07) Nice shot, Hawkeye.
(0:54:30) Beer, the original painkiller. Just ask the ancient Egyptians. (Rule # 4)
(0:56:05) “Cheers.” (Rule # 4, twice)
(0:57:53) Is that a puppet theatre? Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot.
(0:59:02) “Oh, no! I told them once, I told them a hundred times, put Spinal Tap first and Puppet Show last.” Noah’s become quite the “dog catcher.” (Rule # 3)
(0:59:24) Noah’s a goner. The black man wanders off alone and and dies first? That’s racist! (Rule # 2)
(0:59:28) A little overzealous use of the doggie door, don’t you think? And how much are those doggies in the window? (Rule # 3)

  • Mile Marker: 38 drinks. Dogs everywhere. Everywhere, dogs.

Hill Harper in "The Breed" (2006)

Hill Harper in The Breed (2006)

(1:02:00) Dogs in the living room, dogs in the kitchen, dogs outside. (Rule # 3)
(1:05:30) Here’s an idea. Don’t have the guy with the bow go in first.
(1:08:00) Three Dog Day. (Rule # 3)
(1:10:43) That dog would be a pro at mailbox baseball.
(1:11:15) Dog in the doorway. (Rule # 3)
(1:11:28) “If I break eye contact, it’s over!”
(1:12:12) Sara won’t leave? Don’t worry. She’ll come around. And then there were three. (Rule # 2)

  • Mile Marker: 42 drinks thus far.

Taryn Manning in "The Breed" (2006)

Taryn Manning in The Breed (2006)

(1:13:00) Dogs can’t resist the great taste of skank.
(1:14:56) “They were playing god.”
(1:19:20) A shocking development.
(1:19:32) Dog! (Rule # 3)
(1:19:45) Is that dog going to tunnel under the fence?
(1:20:00) What’s with the slow-mo run? Is that the Bionic Dog?
(1:20:06) Another foul tip. Strike two.
(1:21:17) “Give Cujo my best.” Backdraft’d!
(1:22:02) Looks like you boys is fresh outta fire.
(1:22:20) “Need a ride?” Sorry if you drank in vain.
(1:22:48) Straight’nin’ the curve, flat’nin’ the hills. Someday the mountain might get ‘em, but the dogs never will.
(1:24:32) Captain Dog. Shame on you if you didn’t see that coming. (Rule # 3)

  • Final Talley: 44 drinks.

Did you play along? Let me know.
Did you have to take extra drinks? Let me know.
Hopefully, you can see that it doesn’t require a moldy oldie b-movie to have fun with these. It may be debatable as to whether The Breed qualifies as a “weird” film, but it certainly isn’t mainstream. There are some creative little twists reminiscent of such cult classics as Night of the Living Dead and The Killer Shrews that make this a little cut above the standard straight-to-video/SyFy Channel “animal attack” fare.

Until next time…
“Dogs is mighty useful beasts,
They might seem bad at first,
They might seem worser right along,
But when they’re dead,
They’re wurst.”
–Ellis Parker Butler

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